KARIYANWO,THE ORIGINAL MEME KING

Back in the dusty streets of the late ‘90s Nairobi, I was hustling in that bustling, grimy artery of the city called River Road. To our folks, it was simply ‘Riverori,‘ the heartbeat of hawkers and street vendors. And at the corner of Sheikh Karume and River Road stood a building that looked like it had survived an apocalypse—Mutarara Mall. If you held anything in print in Kenya back then, odds are it came from that very spot.

Every Friday, the air would buzz with anticipation as hordes of hawkers gathered there, their pockets jingling with loose coins. They weren’t just there to swap stories or trade wares. No, they were waiting for the man—Kariyanwo, the master of memes before memes were even a thing. Kariyanwo was a legend, and his weapon of choice? Stickers. These weren’t your run-of-the-mill stickers; they were the lifeblood of humor, slapped on matatus, shop walls, and every bachelor pad worth its salt.

His early works were slapstick gold, dripping with innuendo and cheeky one-liners. Who can forget gems like: 

“Jino moja mswaki ni wa nini?”  (Why brush if you’ve only got one tooth?) 

“Kosa pesa ujue tabia ya bibi yako.”  (Miss a paycheck, and your wife’s true colours will show.)

And of course, like an artist signing a masterpiece, Kariyanwo always left his mark—his name boldly at the end of each sticker.The hawkers would snap them up, and by the end of the day, these stickers would be plastered all over Nairobi, from matatus to office desks, to the walls of cheeky young men’s cribs. It didn’t take long before Kariyanwo’s reach stretched across the entire Jamhuri.

But come 1999/2000, Kariyanwo’s humour took a sharp turn. He’d tasted the winds of political change and sharpened his pen. His stickers began to sting, taking aim at the ruling party, KANU. Suddenly, there were slogans like: 

“KANU inanuka” (KANU stinks) 

“Ùra kana ùmarwo ni KANU.”(Run or be caught by KANU.)

These stickers became hot property as the anti-government sentiment in the streets simmered. With newfound fame, Kariyanwo decided to crank up the heat. He added a little spice to the mix, daring to include some naughty language. His most infamous sticker? 

“Ùra kana ùmarwo ni KANU w***o iti*a,” 

Which roughly translated to “Run or get caught by KANU, and your behind will be opened up.”

Whether Kariyanwo himself added those last two words or if some other bold soul did, no one knows. But those stickers sold faster than hot mutura on a chilly Nairobi evening.

Then, one grim morning, the air outside Mutarara Mall grew cold. Parked menacingly were the dreaded CID 504 Peugeots, their doors swinging open like the jaws of a hungry beast. Greasy printing machines and ink-covered men were unceremoniously thrown into the car trunks. Kariyanwo’s risqué, anti-KANU stickers were gone in a puff of smoke.

And just like that, Kariyanwo, the king of memes, vanished from the streets.