MOSHE DAYAN

Just after Giceeri had placed our meat on the table, a scraggy fella with an…

STUNG BY A BEARD

What happens when an ageing African strongman puts his maid in the family way and missus learns about it?

Read on…

DISGUISE YOURSELFIf schools had not been disrupted by Covid 19, this would have been the last week of schooling for kids.To that end, I have been reliving some of my high school memories. During school holidays, my classmate Phares Wainana and I would visit each other homes without notice.It was mutually beneficial- I would enjoy picking tea at his Kiawambogo home and he would enjoy picking coffee in our Iyego home. Another thing between him and I is that we had this uncanny resemblance.One weekend I went to visit Wainana at Kiawambogo.I was debonair lad clad in Tokyo trousers and Azzaro shirt.To cut a macho image, I lit one of the two Embassy Kings sticks that I had bought at Kangema town.Then I trekked to my friend’s home blowing smoke rings into the clouds like a badass cowboy.Unluckily,one mzee who happened to be Wainaina’s dad’s friend saw me and confused me for Wainana.When his dad come around, he reported to him that he saw his son smoking.In the evening, Wainana’s dad called the two of us and gave him a thorough tongue lashing.Telling him that he should be well behaved like me.I sat there, my head bowed like a sheep’s, knowing that my friend was being punished for my sins.After the family slept, we crept into the chilly night and shared our last ciggy under a pear tree in the homestead.’Boy,next time when you sin, always disguise yourself.’Wainaina told me as we went back to his ‘cube’ for the night.Later, in retrospect, I realized that Wainaina’s advice went beyond that particular episode.Sadly, Phares Wainaina left us in 2008 in a road crash near Thika.

BABA YAO

‘BABA YAO’My Jaa-nuary has generally been drama free.We men rarely get into drama when broke.Until yesterday.I was lazing in the sitting room, scratching my scaly knees when First Lady cooed:’Wee, nduthie woe…

SUBSCRIBE

Subscribe now to get notified about exclusive offers from Drum Major