FIVE ITEMS THAT SCREAM “WE ARE FROM THE CITY!”

Gone are the days when city folks wowed villagers with shiny gadgets and fancy phones. These days, even Aunty Jerusha streams sermons on her Android phone. But still, some items unmistakably shout “Hello, we come from the land of Wi-Fi and traffic jams!” Here are five of them:

1.Portable Blue tooth speaker

No self-respecting city dweller shows up in the village without one. Its thumping bass turns any goat roasting session into a mugithi festival. To avoid aibu ndogo ndogo, Mzee is forced to shelve his screeching radio that is always attuned to Kameme FM.

2.Iphone

The almighty American phone with a half bitten logo at the back is a rarity in the village where most fellows are comfortable with backstreet brands like Sumsung, SQNY or the ubiquitous kabambe. But of importance is the phone talking, so goes one village truism.

3.Type C charger

Woe unto you if you need a type C charger in the village. It means crossing swollen rivers, climbing impossible hills and bribing a youth who recently relocated back from the city. It’s easier to find a witch doctor than this elusive charger.

4.Powerbank

Power blackouts in the village are as frequent as SHI-SHA malfunctions. But city folks come prepared with power banks. While the locals wait for electricity “to come back when it feels like it,” city guys casually scroll through TikTok like they’re still on the city grid.

5.Braces

Villagers can’t fathom how teens can eat with metal wires in their mouth without swallowing them. In the village, offside teeth are straightened the traditional way—chewing rock-hard cassava or cracking open macadamia nuts like the Cro-Magnon man.

Go ahead and add to the list.